June 29, 2008
Technocrat
“Do you cyber people have an antivirus?”
I really don’t know whether to laugh or to cry. ‘Cyber-people’, yes, that’s who (rather what) we have been sidelined into. Naturally, we see ourselves in a rather different light; more along the lines of the geeks that decided to join law school only because it suited our antisocial desires. Imagine trying to be geeky in a place where everyone else is, it just wouldn’t work. So we created our own esoteric group of jobless people that really ought to have been found trying to correct syntax instead of legal authorities. But now we only exist in some remote corner of cyber-space as virtual people that only materialize when the LAN malfunctions or when someone’s laptop decides to take a break, and then de-materialize into their natural state as electrical signals whose sole purpose in life is to offer a comfortable pillow to cushion data losses. Acquaintances now only knock in situations of dire need….
“LAN not working on my floor”
“Is the Cisco plugged in?”
“Oh yeah…”
But it has its benefits… My room, for example. Comes at the cost of being responsible for the switch connecting the floor and being at the beck and call of the technophobic masses; but on an objective cost-benefit analysis, considering we only do the work because we enjoy it, not very expensive. Unless of course, it’s that time of the semester when everyone has a deadline and all computers decide to crash in unison. You also get an excuse to sample the food in the distressed subject’s room, and seeing as we’re all living in a hostel, any good food is spontaneously consumed with pleasure.
“My comp is slowing down”
“That’s because you don’t love it enough. Always remember the second commandment, love thy laptop like you love thyself…”
“It’s a non living entity। I know you connect on higher levels but face it. Technophilia will get you nowhere”
(shuts ears tight, refusing to be the passive recipient of such sacrilegious ideas)
“So what’s the first commandment?”
“Love your friendly neighborhood Cyber-committee member like you-”
(gets beaten up)
Naturally, the abuse of technology is when it disjoins humanity from gadgets.
“Your laptop is old and disabled.”
“Don’t say that!”
“I apologise, I meant, your laptop is old and differently-abled.”
